Kiss The Joy
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
He who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sunrise
Eternity, by William Blake 1757 - 1827
Very recently I moved to live in rural France, leaving a happy life in Wiltshire where I was surrounded by loving friends and neighbours, to follow a dream and set up home in the middle of nowhere with my horses and dogs. Why? Well that will be the topic of another piece, but suffice to say I lost many nights’ sleep before I moved worrying about all sorts of things. At the top of the list was ‘Will I be happy?’ ….and ‘Will I be AS happy as I am now?’
Now the transition is made and I have realised that I was asking myself the wrong question. Because happiness is not something which can be predicted or guaranteed. A certain set of circumstances does not implicate it one way or another, although they can help significantly in creating the possibility of well-being.
Seeking happiness has become a trademark of our time. The self-help industry is booming and the evangelistic arsenal of ‘How to be Happy’ techniques grows week by week: from daily mantras to de-cluttering and from diets to dressing.
It seems that many of us are increasingly lost. Or stuck. Or sometimes lost and stuck. In an age where the slide of a finger across the face of our smartphone will tell us exactly where we are and how to get to where we need to be, this seems ironic. If only there was an app which could show us the way back to ourselves.
Presented expertly via the media we love so well: reality TV, bloggers, social media we are seduced by a whole range of spiritual fix-its. But jumping onto the next ‘It couldn’t be easier’ bandwagon as it passes will only get you so far. The shiny image which has been promoted as your panacea may offer helpful principles, however happiness is not about creating perfection, as defined by someone else, it is about making space inside yourself for joy.
And finding this space doesn’t involve ‘doing’ a lot. Actually, it is about doing nothing. Giving yourself an opportunity to ‘be’. That is when you can begin rebuilding your sense of connection (with yourself, nature, others…). And it is when you feel reconnected that you begin to notice joy as it passes.
For joy is not something to be contained, wrapped up, stored in reserve and kept for later. It comes and goes in the moment like the breeze flowing off the wings of a bird. Joy has to be free. When hunted it hides, and when captured it dies. But if you hold a joyful place in your heart, it will visit you often.
This is not easy, but it is simple. To make the space you must learn to be still - inside and outside - and this involves facing the things which you might prefer to avoid. When your life is full to bursting and your mind occupied with the minutiae of daily life and the anxieties which you create around it, you can escape that which you find difficult. Becoming peaceful takes courage, honesty and self-compassion and a willingness to blow the cobwebs from your inner spaces.
One late evening last week I stood with the herd. Above me a colossal halo of soft light surrounded the shining moon. It stretched across the limpid silver sky, illuminating the rolling countryside around me. I had never seen anything like it. An owl hooted. The horses murmured. Otherwise all was peaceful and still. When I became too cold I went indoors, uplifted and curious by the astral display I had experienced. I learned that what I had seen is called a lunar halo. It is created a little like a rainbow is by the sun and rain, when the light from the moon is refracted through ice crystals in the earth’s atmosphere. So, the existence and nature of each halo is dependent on the relative position of the recipient. They are completely unique to the onlooker, they are transitory and specific at that moment to that pair of eyes. They can even reflect the colours of the rainbow. I was blessed with another halo shining over the valley, two nights later, this time much smaller but reflecting subtle pink and green.
This, I realised, is the nature of joy. It is a moment by moment experience, which, like the lunar halo, manifests to those who are present and available to receive it. One moment it is there and the next it is gone. It can’t be photographed, copied or predicted, and it is only yours to feast upon for as long as the miracle lasts. But it will surely manifest in a different form for you again sometime later.
So, instead of keeping myself awake at night asking ‘Will this decision make me happy, as happy as I am now?’ a more useful question would have been ‘How will I maintain my capacity to experience joy when presented with a new, different set of circumstances and challenges.’
If you, too, are progressing change in your life, pay attention to what you need to do to nurture that peaceful place in your heart where joy can land. Step out from the planning, research, exploration, agonising, and be ready to see your own lunar halo.
c. Pam Billinge 2019
All rights reserved
You'll never look at a horse in the same way again...
The ability of the horse to sense emotion, energy and spirit goes way beyond what most of the human world realises. A must-read for those wishing to understand the spiritual connection between horses and humans.
When Pam Billinge's mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she began to notice the way her horse responded to her emotional turmoil. Thus began an exploration into the spiritual relationship between horses and humans and their infinite capacity to help us heal.
Building on her remarkable discoveries, Pam began her pioneering work as a horse-led coach and therapist. By sharing her own path to redemption through personal tragedy, and other stories of healing inspired by the incredible interactions she has observed between horse and human, Pam puts forward her uplifting insights about the true nature of the horse, setting out some simple principles to help the reader transcend life's challenges.
Pam Billinge is a body psychotherapy professional and leadership coach at the top of her game in the UK field of horse-led therapy.
'This book describes the most powerful sense of a horse being spirit and energy, rather than sight or sound,' Little Miss No Sleep
'An enchanting, beautiful book that I was captivated by right from the start. Had me in tears more than once.' Mrs Bloggs' Books
'One thing I really took from this book was the reminder that life is about ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’.' Goodreads
'A revelation that horses can sense our emotions so keenly.' Diane Chandler, Author
'Her special affinity & deep respect for horses shines through with every well-written word and every emotional connection.' Jaffareadstoo...
'Pam Billinge writes with a wonderful beauty.' Liz Loves Books
'The sign of a really good book for me is that I am unable to begin another book for a few days - I have not read a book now in the last week (unheard of for me)!' Goodreads
Unlocking the magic between human and horse - The Spell of the Horse will change the way you see horses, and perhaps yourself.
The Spell of the Horse by Pam Billinge is available to order from all good bookshops and online.
Patricia O'Toole's debut memoir Call of an Angel has been shortlisted for the angel book of the year 2019 in the Soul & Spirit Magazine Spiritual Book Awards.
Soul & Spirit is a high quality, UK monthly lifestyle print magazine with columns from all the best experts from the mind, body and spirit arena, including Russell Grant, Sally Morgan, Diana Cooper, Derek Acorah, Tony Stockwell, Robina Courtin & more.
The winner will be announced in March 2019.
We went to Poitiers yesterday evening intending to do some night photography. Unfortunately, as somebody had unplugged my camera's battery charger unbeknown to me, my battery was almost dead so I only took a couple of shots before it ran out.
However, that didn't mean the evening was without excitement.
For those who don't know, there is a movement in France at the moment called 'gilets jaunes' after the protestors who wear the high viz yellow vests. They are causing disruption, protesting about the rising cost of fuel and living and generally expressing their disappointment with Mr Macron and inviting him to resign.
Although there has been some violence in major cities, around here it is generally good humoured. We see groups of gilets jaunes on the roundabouts waving placards, and that's about it. Last night we shared an experience with them.
They were at the entrance to the multi-storey car park and had raised the barriers so everybody went in without paying. They were polite and friendly, and said they were helping reduce our living costs by giving us free parking. Which was most kind of them.
By the time we were ready to leave, they had gone. The exit barriers had come down. Hundreds of people who had enjoyed free parking had no tickets, so they couldn't get out unless they knew the secret password 'Gilets jaunes'.
Terry went up to the 6th floor to recover our car, while I waited at the exit. I stood between the two barriers explaining to the queues of drivers they had to press the intercom button and say the password so that the barriers would be raised. They were grateful and it worked.
For about 5 minutes.
Then the intercom began playing a recorded message saying that their calls would be answered. It kept repeating itself but no calls were answered. All the cars were trapped. People began hooting, some repeated short hoots, some keeping their hands on the hooter. People I had previously spoken to came to ask me what was happening and why the barriers were no longer working.
A very angry man reversed from one barrier, almost smashing into the car behind him, and tried to escape through the second barrier. He repeatedly punched the intercom button with his finger until somebody answered, when he yelled and waved his gilet jaune into the intercom until he was allowed out.
Then the intercoms stopped responding at all.
The continual hooting became deafening.
Then the sirens went off, followed by an announcement that there was a technical problem and everybody must evacuate the building immediately.
People poured out of doorways and down from the ramps. A man with a clipboard appeared and and was swamped by a barrage of questions. Terry appeared, having come down from the 6th floor to find out what was happening.
The party spirit took over. The people laughed and joked in the same way they did when we had the bomb scare and were evacuated at CDG.
Then the police arrived and after lengthy discussions the sirens stopped and the barriers were raised, and people were instructed to return to their cars. Terry went back up to the 6th floor.
However, during the evacuation mentioned above, some drivers had simply left their cars wherever they were at the time, on the ramps, and gone away, leaving them there. So any cars behind them were trapped until the drivers decided to return.
A dribble of vehicles came by, among them a number of people who had previously bought parking tickets and were determined to put them into the machines, which were not functioning because the system had been switched off. Instead of driving straight through, encouraged by the police waving their arms, they persisted in putting the tickets into the machine and when nothing happened, turning them the other way round and putting them in again. The cars behind began hooting, the police waved their arms, and after several minutes the ticket holders accepted that they would have to leave without paying, just like everybody else.
Every so often no cars appeared for long minutes, due to abandoned cars blocking the ramps. Then a few cars rolled past, then a few more. Another long wait. A few more cars.
I don't know how long I stood there with my two tripods. A security man kept walking by and saying it was just a matter of being patient, there were still many cars trapped on the upper floors.
There was also an elderly lady with her shopping bags waiting anxiously for her lift. We pulled sympathetic faces at each other.
Terry finally arrived, after the driver of the car who had thoughtfully abandoned it across the ramp returned to remove it.
Merci aux gilets jaunes pour ce divertissement. (Thank you, yellow vests, for this entertainment.)
c. Susie Kelly
All rights reserved
Susie Kelly's new book In Foreign Fields: How Not To Move To France is just out, in ebook and paperback.
Hit the DOWNLOAD button above to hear Susie Kelly chat about her new book In Foreign Fields: How Not To Move To France with TRE's Giles Brown.
Many thanks to Anne of the award-winning Being Anne [Books, travel and other things that make life interesting...] book blog on the release of Susie Kelly's new title In Foreign Fields: How Not To Move To France. REPOST:
I was delighted to be a part of the Writing Coach UK Routes to Publication evening at the Google Academy, London, with Apple Tree Yard author Louise Doughty, Unbound publishing's John Mitchinson, and Oxford University Creative Writing programme director Clare Morgan. The panel discussion was chaired by novelist and Writing Coach UK Founder, Jacqui Lofthouse.
I also had an interesting and enlightening morning recently on the book marketing panel at New Generation Publishing's annual self-publishing summit at King's College, London. With New Generation's David Walshaw; Ben Cameron of Cameron Publicity, and Katy Guest, editor, reviewer and new projects editor at Unbound. The good news for new authors is that, whilst there are now very many more books being published than there used to be, the ways in to publication are many and varied. The latest marketing techniques, such as Amazon Advertising, provide affordable options for new writers to get their books noticed and are well worth exploring.
Thanks to Jacqui Lofthouse MD of The Writing Coach and Tom Chalmers, MD of Legend Press and New Generation Publishing for inviting me.
Our popular, intimate Diane Chandler creative writing courses are back.
The classes are geared towards beginners but are suitable for more experienced writers who are looking to get their creative juices flowing, or who just fancy an inspirational morning away from the desk.
Cost: £40 to include a copy of Diane’s latest novel, Moondance, coffee and homemade brownies.
Tues Dec 4th Chiswick BOOKING OPEN
Saturday 19th January, Teddington BOOKING OPEN